What a week! Do you ever approach the end of the week feeling like you've been holding your breath the whole time? Yeah thats how I feel this week. Its been okay, but I feel so exhuasted and don't feel like I've gotten as much done as I needed to.
Well Monday was the only day I worked, but it was an eight hour shift and while I felt really busy I am grateful that I have a job and that my schedule seems to be back to normal. ( Was only getting one day a week for a while.) Classes have been okay, but can I just put out this plea to the universe: if you are a pedestrian please use the crosswalks, sidewalks etc... I almost hit a guy this week, because he just stepped off the curb and into the street trying to dodge his way through traffic. Speaking of which traffic this week has been awful up on campus, but I think it will settle down now that the job expo is over. I have had two quizzes due this week I had such high hopes for the one, but I recieved a 77.5%. Grr. I know that I could do so much better if I had just five minutes more to finished them, but they are timed and online so even groveling wouldn't do me any good. Yes I will try to remember the cardinal rule of racing and testing: pace yourself!
On the running front I have done okay this week.
Monday: 3 miles
Tuesday: 7 miles
Wendnesday: Speedwork: 3 miles warmup followed by a 8:29 min mile then a 8:46 min mile then 4:00 minutes for 800 meters.
Thursday 3 miles.
I am hoping to get a ten miler in tomorrow, a serious strength training session ( with just me and my weights and maybe a workout dvd) on Saturday and then a 4 or 5 mile tempo run on Sunday. I was supposed to do the tempo today, but I just quit today, because I couldn't talk myself into finishing all of it when I was loosing steam at one and a quarter. I am glad that I finished my speedwork on Wednesday though. It didn't start out that well. I went down to the track now that it is all snow free. I was about a mile and a half into it when the track gods and goddesses showed up. I continued running, but at about two and a almost a quarter they asked me to move to the outside lane. I said okay, finished the lap and drove to the campus gym.( I would've run on the outside lanes of the track with them if it had been just an easy run or even a long run, but it takes so much some days just to psych myself up for speedwork and I'm still not sure what the distance difference is between those first inside lanes and the outside lanes. Anyone know?)
I finished the rest of my warm up ( 1200 meters) and then did my first one miler. That first one miler is always the fastest one. In theory I believe you're supposed to be able to beat yourself with mile repeats, but I don't think that will ever happen unless I am really holding back. I was really hoping to do better than last weeks 8:17 minute mile, but nope that didn't happen. I did an easy lap and then started again. I ran as hard as I could, but the basketballs from the courts kept bouncing into my lane and people in general were as unaware of runners coming at them as the pedestrians outside were of cars. (I was unfortuneately guilty of this too as I finished the last lap of my first mile and stopped and then had to book it out of the way as these two guys were right on my tail.) The last half mile I really pushed. I think it really helps me to improve speed and speed work, because I'm sure that if I did a 3 X 1 milers I would always wimp out of the last mile, but the fact that I've modified it helps alot - it forces me to physically and mentally push myself those last 800 meters.
I am really happy that I am on my way to a 30+ mileage week especially since I will need to do some serious mileage makeup to even out what I will need to make my mileage goal for the year, but the weird thing is that I usually feel so incredible after runs and this week they seem so blah. I'm not sure why, but I just haven't felt that runners high I usually feel after workouts ( especially 7 milers like on Tuesday- it was kind of a make up long run since I didn't do one on the weeked) So I am going to try to make the most out of the rest of the week. And the good news is I will have tomorrow morning off so I can do a long run. Those are the best and I am going to try to do everything to make sure that it goes well. I am going to be grateful for the ability to run and for my beautiful track ( even though I know that its not mine I just get to use it.) I'm going to accept the off weeks where everything seems to make you late for the next thing and stop beating myself up for it and try to do better next week ( I think that will be better next week, because there were so many cars on the road and on campus for the job expo!)
All in all I have to remind my self to be grateful to run. I have to remember why I love it. Part of that reason was because it was soley mine. I could do what ever mileage or pace I wanted and feel good about it. It was one of those things I also started again, because no one could tell me that I had screwed it up. I defined the run. When I started up again two years ago I started because I wanted to be able to run again. I wanted that ability. Yes I wanted that old high school body back, but I also wanted the seemingly effortlessness that went into that body. ( It didn't feel like that then though. I still felt fat in high school lol) The funny thing is though I was much skinnier in highschool, but I didn't put in nearly the effort, time, or mileage that I am putting in now. I would drink on average four - sometimes more - Dr. Peppers a day. And though I "earned" them ( For every can I drank I would "debt" myself a half a mile run or 2.5 miles on the bike.) The effort never balanced out the calories. Now on my bad days I am drinking 3, but my time and mileage put into working out has tripled. I stress over my time and think about how I could've gone faster. I record not only my miles ran, but the miles I bike and the yards that I swim. I use to be really good about strength training, but slacked off a bit. I just don't love it. I can never find that rhythm that I love so much in the middle of a long run, but am trying to find a place for it.
On days where things don't go as planned I have to remind myself to embrace the opportunity to _________. Even if I have to use the opportunity I always use- the opportunity to move and run! I have to remind myself to embrace the opportunity to change. I didn't want to leave the track on Wednesday, but who knows maybe moving to the indoor track made my miles faster? It could have and now that spring is here I know I will have a full spring, summer, and fall season of running on that Heaven sent track where I can completely enjoy being out side and cranking up my awesome new blue ipod!! I love the solitary that comes with the scenery. I love seeing other runners show up with their furry running friends, because I understand that bond between dogs, people and running.
Hopefully next week will start out better, but more than that I hope to not let the negetive get to me and to remind myself as I did in painful parts of the Rodeo Half to "embrace the pain" :)
Love and forward motion,
Meagan
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